Posts tagged USA

OFS Unlimited - Mister Kidneys

‘Mister Kidneys’ is an interesting song in that it belongs to a small shard faction of 70’s funk concerned with third-person descriptions of badass motherfuckers (e.g. ‘Theme from Shaft’, ‘Superfly’, ‘The Mack’). ‘Mister Kidneys’ tells the tale of a ‘son of a gun’ who goes by the name of, well, Mister Kidneys, and you should watch out for him because he is going to eff your girlfriend, and presumably based on his nickname, give her a urinary tract infection. When they were handing out badass nicknames, Mister Kidneys got the uh, shaft, y’all. I would think that someone whose superpower is how easily they can fuck your woman would have a nickname more representative of that - something like Will Hung. Johnny Dick. Gash Stabberson. I dunno.

You can basically hear the tape rotting on the song, and I can only assume it’s because this funk number is so ripe and plain old stankin’, and it’s not hard to imagine the VU meters redlining through this whole recording. Either this song was recorded by an idiot savant or just an idiot, because shit isn’t supposed to sound like this. And I mean this in a good way.

OFS Unlimited have a very small catalog of recorded works - from what I can find their only release was this 45 (b/w ‘Mystic’) on the Columbus, OH Prix label, an obscure funk/soul label who never even made it big in Columbus, let alone state or country-wide.

Check out the dude on the stairs!

Emitt Rhodes - Somebody Made For Me

‘Somebody Made For Me’ is one of those songs about the charming idea that there exists, oddly quite often within a 100km radius of your hometown, a person constructed solely for the purpose of being your form-fitted soul mate forever and ever and ever, and the two of you will ride a tandem bicycle to a meadow and have a picnic and then go back and fuck your brains out in a 3-million-dollar Manhattan loft, which is an idea I happen to subscribe to as it of course is the reality of my everyday life. A smaller, more bitter and less handsome man than myself might suggest that this idea of someone being made for you is true in the same sense that the sticker McDonald’s affixes to your Egg McMuffin saying “Made Fresh For You!” is true, in that yes - it was made, and yes, now you are holding it, but it was made from ingredients that are available in bulk and is truly designed for mass consumption, and the mildly nauseating satiety both this idea and Egg McMuffins provide will make you comfortable and ultimately fat. Yes, I just wrote a paragraph-long sentence comparing the romantic notion of love to an Egg McMuffin. The line-up for my boudoir forms on the left, style code in effect.

At any rate, American one-man band Emitt Rhodes, along with the vast majority of pop songwriters, do not share the Love N’ McMuffin theory, and much ink has been spilled and tape rolled on the subject of soul mates. This song, luckily, delivers its message in a format that sounds awesome. The first thing that will likely grab you about Emitt Rhodes is that he unabashedly channels Paul McCartney in both vocal stylings and bass ploddery, so in many ways the songs you’ll find on his eponymous 1970 debut are like a lost Beatles album. One thing quite notable about Emitt however is that he recorded all of the tracks, this one included, in the comfort of a modest 4-track home studio. Only after Emitt secured a record deal were they slightly punched up to add mostly vocal overdubs. An interesting factoid on this record is that at the time of its release, musician’s union rules stated that records released on a major label had to be recorded in what the union considered a ‘proper’ studio - likely an attempt to secure work for studio engineers and pump jobs and work back into the industry - so all references to the fact that this was home recorded had to be kept hidden from view.

Chairmen of the Board - All We Need Is Understanding

Double-shot of Motor City Soul today, he said in his best Casey Kasem voice, given last night’s oversight. By way of a recap, Holland/Dozier/Holland, the songwriting/production team largely responsible for that hoppin’ Motown sound that drove matching suit sales through the roof in the 60’s, left Motown in 1967 to form their own label, Invictus Records. One of their first bands was The Chairmen of the Board, fronted by a gentleman by the name of General Johnson. Yep, General. General, to my ears, isn’t exactly the most naturally talented singer of all the golden age Detroit soul there is out there, but the production on ‘All We Need Is Understanding’, from 1970’s ‘In Session’ is like a velvety, jhericurled hug for your ears, and the chorus has just enough of that Jackson 5 descending bassline shuffle to cause a little dip in my hip, though that may be just the muscle I pulled slamming your mom to this track. Checkmate!

Freda Payne - Band of Gold

Let’s say this Twinkie (I’m holding a twinkie) represents a blood alcohol level of .08, the level deemed by the province of Ontario to be ‘impaired’. Now, based on this morning’s reading, imagine a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds, and you might be close to understanding how I accidentally didn’t post this last night. Freda Payne was born in Detroit (pronounciation guide available here), home of Motown, but left for New York to find her fortune as a singer and actress. Assuming you’re a smooth talker or have chloroform and a spacious trunk, you can take the girl out of Detroit - but you can’t take the Detroit out of a girl. You also can’t put Detroit in a girl, though god bless the Detroit Lions cheerleaders for continuing to try to prove me wrong. Anyhow where I’m going with this is that Freda ended up back in Detroit after being contacted by the holy trinity of Motor City songwriting, Holland/Dozier/Holland and signed to their Invictus Records, releasing the H/D/H-penned single ‘Band of Gold’ in 1970 - her only #1 hit. ‘Band of Gold’ is a song about a woman who marries quite young to find that her husband not only isn’t interested in consummating their marriage, but doesn’t even want to sleep in the same room as her. There are also veiled references to previous failed attempts at lovemaking. The song’s original title, ‘(I Should Have Known When) He Borrowed My Lip Gloss’ was rejected by the label. Okay, I made that part up - but this is true: the guitarist on ‘Band of Gold’ is none other than Ray Parker Jr, fearless buster of ghosts. I hate to blow our Ray Parker Jr. wad on this song but sadly I’m not sure the theme from Ghostbusters meets our high standards for songwriting excellence, despite its inspirational story of a man who ain’t afraid of no ghost.

Fig 1.1: Freda Payne. Not pictured: cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.

Michael Jackson - I Wanna Be Where You Are

Yep, that Michael Jackson. Listen, I’m not going to take the easy way out here. There’s a lot that could be said about Michael Jackson, but that territory has been thoroughly strip-mined. How about you just insert your favorite Michael Jackson joke here, and then we can get on to the song. Ok, go!

“I Wanna Be Where You Are” was MJ’s second single as a solo artist, written by Diana Ross’ brother T-Boy Ross and Leon Ware, released in 1972 on a little label by the name of Motown. Though it’s far from his most recognizable song (in fact, maybe you’ve never heard it?) it is in fact his most covered - and has been reappropriated in inummerable hiphop songs.  In the last year alone, everyone’s favorite master of ceremonies DOOM lifted the opening verse in his track ‘That’s That’, MURS and 9th Wonder sampled it heavily on his track ‘Can It Be’, and that’s just what I have on my C:\ drive y’all. Ah fuck it. Suffice it to say that this beat has been lifted more times than Michael Jackson’s face. It’s been dropped more often that MJizzle’s pants in a children’s hospital. It’s been covered more often than Macaulay Culkin’s face with a pillow. OH YES I FUCKING DID!

Rotary Connection - I Am The Black Gold Of The Sun

Rotary Connection were a late 60’s psychedelic outfit in the style of the 5th Dimension, based in Chicago. There was no shortage of these kinds of bands at the time, because everybody was high and kept accidentally forming the same bands and making the same records over and over again. I’ve been there, man. One thing fairly unique about Rotary Connection, however, were their music industry connections. The idea to form the band was put forth by Marshall Chess, son of the legendary Chess Records impressario Leonard Chess. Marshall didn’t perform in the band, just thought up the idea of a psychedlic band in late 60’s Chicago. Just sorta dreamed it up. You have to admire his courage in making the daring choice to tap such untested ground. Marshall pulled members from various bands, mostly rock bands, and also tapped (on the shoulder) the receptionist at Chess records, one Minnie Ripperton, to provide backing vocals for the group.

Today’s song comes from their 1971 record ‘Hey, Love!’, and is perhaps better known for the cover of it performed by Nuyorican Soul in the late 90’s.  After experiencing some moderate success, The Rotary Connection split shortly after ‘Hey Love’ was released - and, as it would happen, the only member to go on and enjoy any success whatsoever was, as you might already know, Minnie Ripperton, whose ‘Lovin’ You’ is a song I love to play as I pull on my stockings slowly.