Brian Eno - Here Come The Warm Jets

“Here Come The Warm Jets” serves as both the title of Eno’s first solo record post-Roxy Music, and the name of the title track which you can boom through the intertubes by clicking the little button above. Eno initially explain the title as a slang term for pissin’ (Piss-Regeln!), though that’s something he later retracted, stating that he actually meant the term to describe the smooth, polished metal timbres he was able to coax out of guitars on the record. I however suspect he changed his story in the foaming yellow wake of the R. Kelly scandal, or perhaps because he didn’t want to offend his mum.

Eno’s work with Roxy Music was notable for many of reasons - it was pioneering synthesizer work, but Eno was a self-described “non-musician”. Also, have you seen his fucking hair at this time? (See below). It’s amazing he was able to get it together to write music when he was clearly an effete warlock busily practicing the black arts of blush application.

Eno is perhaps best known for his later ambient work, though this album is a standalone piece in its own right. Not long after its release, Eno was struck by an automobile, either while riding his bike or while asking the driver if he “partied” while gesturing to his mouth (citation needed) and spent a long time convalescing. As legend has it, Eno asked to have music played in his room, and one of his visitors was happy to oblige, providing him with a record of some renaissance classical music, with only one problem - she didn’t turn it up loud enough before leaving. Largely immobilized, Eno was forced to listen to the music at a level almost inaudible above the simple sounds of the room and the weather outside, which apparently shook loose from within him the idea for his inimitable brand of ambient music. We’re lucky I suppose that he wasn’t forced to listen to polka at maximum volume, as you and I might be wearing lederhosen today and stuck porkin’ German chicks. Which is fun! Their armpits are like blankets.

Another amazing and notable Eno accomplishment (I won’t get into Oblique Strategies, but you should)  is his composition of the Windows Sound you heard every time you booted up Windows 95, a six second opus designed to be heard thousands of times, because fuck - if you remember Windows 95, you were rebooting that bitch with infuriating frequency. Eno’s soothing startup chime probably saved millions of CRT monitors from being tossed through a goddamn window. Ironic that his music for Windows saved windows - more ironic though is that he composed the piece on a Mac. Burn!

Deborah Harry Brian Eno, circa 1974.